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"If you give me chocolate I will listen. If you don't then I won't."
After walking into a chocolate shop and buying some candy and then refusing to let him have it until we got back to the house so that he wouldn't make a mess of it while we were still shopping. For the record, he did not get any chocolate.
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"Mama...let's you upstairs and climb in the bed and lay down and go to sleep! I'm tired!"
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"Give me money and a debit card!"
I had just finished telling Preston that if he didn't stop kicking his DVD player then it was going to break and if he broke it I wasn't going to buy him a new one.

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