Thursday, July 9, 2009

Friendship More Than 20 Years Later

I recently spent lunch and the afternoon with my Dad, his best friend (and Best Man), and his best friend's family. It was absolutely amazing to me how my Dad and his best friend from high school, Brad, had not only stayed in contact with one another 20 plus years later, but that they were also able to get together and have lunch. You couldn't even tell that it had been years since they'd seen each other in person. They talked about the past, their high school and after glory days. Caught each other up on the present and where they were in life now. And planned for the future, not waiting so long to get together again.


I think that reason this afternoon has been on my mind is that it really hit home in my life. Lately I've really been feeling like I've grown so far apart from my best friends of high school. Granted my life has changed since those days. And theirs obviously have too. We're just in such different places now. As a result of that I feel like it's harder and harder to connect with them in the ways that I used to. The phone calls catching each other up have gotten more and more spaced out. Our friendship seems to exist more over the random comment on facebook than it does through phone calls and face to face contact. And I've only been out of high school for four years. How are we supposed to make it to that lunch 20 plus years down the road if we can't even stay in contact easily with each other four years later?

Not to mention that my Dad's friend Brad now lives on the other side of the world, most recently Bagladash, and my friends and me all live in the same city.


It frustrates and upsets me to no end. While I've made new friends and they have as well, I want to remain a part of their lives and have them remain apart of mine. I want that lunch where you sit back and remember all the stories from high school. All the mind boggling things we did and the things we got away with, even if it was just barely. These are the girls that know the story as well as I do because they were apart of it as much as I was.

I know that I'm just as capable as staying in contact with them as they are with me, but sometimes it's hard. Hard knowing that friendships in high school are different from friendships out of it. You don't know that you'll see each other every day, you don't know all the same people, and we aren't all in the same places in our lives anymore. But still I want us to all be apart of each other's lives.


How about you? Still friends with people from your high school days? Any secrets to keeping in contact?

12 comments:

JosiahsMommy said...

I understand your pain. It is hard to keep in touch with people from high school. Lives change a lot, especially in those first few years before the five year reunion. I am still in contact with some of my friends but not a ton. Facebook is how I stay up to date on them. I do still consistently talk with one or two friends, but they both have children. I think in our age bracket that's a defining difference. I would say give them all a few more years. Once they have babies they will be looking for other mommy friends just like you are/were.

Marina said...

was just about to say FB and noticed I was beaten to it! And an occassional telephone call....should do the trick ;>

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Kait T said...

I love advertisments in comment form! Sign me up! lol j/k

I don't have many friends from highschool. I went to running start so that cut all my friendship ties with traditional highschool and then my college friends and I were never really close... besides I don't think I'd want my kids to ever meet some of my friends from college... they were a rough bunch. lol

Life, Love And Lola said...

I actually am still very close with girlfriends from 23 years ago. It helps that we all moved back home after college. Have you tried to reconnect with old friends on facebook?

Trippleaaa said...

Ya, I'm still friends with a few poeple from high school. I visit with them everytime I go to the other side of the state. One in particular I keep up with on myspace and we talk about once a month, more if I'm visiting her soon. For us, we know that we were close for a few years and even now, if we don't talk for a few months, it's no big deal. We simply reconnect as soon as we chat again. It also helps that she's in the same place in life as me. SHe has a little boy, a few months younger then Aidan and another one due in a few months. We even try to convince eachother to move :) lol. good luck with things kim!

Holly said...

I have learned over the last 8 years since graduating from H.S. that my true friends will remain my friends even if we go periods of time without talking. Internet is a great way to see what people are up to without talking all of the time and when you do get together if you just pick up right where you left off that's great. What more do you need?

Drifting and changing, not being at the same place in life is normal. You can still be friends and maybe you won't be as close but that's ok. I have a cousin who every now and again has all of her friends from H.S. over to her house for a get together to reconnect. You could try something like that.

Maricris Zen Mama said...

Sadly, I don't anymore. When I left for the US, I seem to have left everything including anything with ships like friendships. It's hard keeping in touch when you're thousands of miles away or even an hour away. Life can get real crazy!

WhisperingWriter said...

I know what you mean. I'm in contact with a few people from high school but not many. I have a lot of them as my friends on Facebook.

Ms Perfect said...

Hello SITSta! I have no secrets to keeping in touch with old friends. I use facebook, myspace and email to stay current with them. I have run into so many old classmates and then after talking with them, I realized that its not so bad not staying in touch. lol. Some have grown into their own (in a weird way that I don't fancy) and some haven't grown at all (and I don't fancy that either). Sorry to ramble.

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

Kim, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. That's amazing, isn't it?!

Domrese Family Blog said...

We hang out with lots of friends from both my elementary school days and college friends that Dan and I made together. Luckily, tons of these friends live in the Spokane area so we play cards while all the kids run around or do family activities together. It's great fun. I love that my best friend from second grade is now one of Dan's good friends (it's a guy, so now they do guy things while us wives hang out). :) The friends from far away? We have annual get togethers. My friends from high school we meet every Christmas season at a bar. And then we meet at "May Day" (our towns big festival) and all hang out with the families. Good luck to you!

Domrese Family Blog said...

We hang out with lots of friends from both my elementary school days and college friends that Dan and I made together. Luckily, tons of these friends live in the Spokane area so we play cards while all the kids run around or do family activities together. It's great fun. I love that my best friend from second grade is now one of Dan's good friends (it's a guy, so now they do guy things while us wives hang out). :) The friends from far away? We have annual get togethers. My friends from high school we meet every Christmas season at a bar. And then we meet at "May Day" (our towns big festival) and all hang out with the families. Good luck to you!